10:07 p.m. - 2004-08-16
puke
You know that salty taste at the back of your throat after you've cried for a long time? Well, I'm tasting it, but I haven't been crying. I just feel like shit. My boyfriend's sister posts pictures of my niece on the net and spells her name wrong when making a tag. I let my hopes get up on Sunday thinking that for once Joe might show up. I even left him a message and called him every 10 minutes or so. I should've known he wouldn't show up. Amazingly, I remember his number. I just feel so shitty. I miss him so much. It's been 2 years or so. His mom says he talks about me and she's starting to think maybe he really did, and still does, have a crush on me. Of course that doesn't matter now because I have a boyfriend who I lie about having to my aunt and Joe's mom. Because neither of them trust him because of my exaggerated complaints. I'm going to Darien Lake tomorrow with TC, his best friend, and JR. I don't really want to go. I only want to argue. I want to puke all the time. Because I hate that entire situation, because I'm still in love with a guy I met when I was 7 and haven't seen in 2 years, because my pills hate me. None of this makes any sense. I'm just rambling because I'm upset with this situation in life. Of course, TC is here now and I have to leave with him. I'm spending the night so we can leave early and go where I'd rather not go. I'd rather go with Sus. And now that this diary is unlocked this is all public information. TC reads it, although he hasn't really done so in quite awhile. I obviously don't care about his reaction at this point in time. I may later, but w/e. I feel so sick. I held a mood ring today and it turned blue/green. The little card said that meant "emotional". Indeed.
"The battle's almost won and we're only seven miles from the sun."
