10:19 a.m. - 2005-04-10
he called
I know that there's only like 2 of you who may know who he is, but...Jay called me yesterday. I haven't talked to him since November or so when he called to say that his girlfriend tried to commit suicide when he tried to break up with her. He said he could never leave her and that he really only loved me like a sister. I guess he did call in January, 2 days before I took my pregnancy test, but I was sleeping. So I'm over 4 months along now and he just found out yesterday. His response was that it should be his, he should have 2 kids then. Why the turn around? He called me to say that his girlfriend has been bugging the shit out of him for the past few months and he wants to break up with her again. I am the only other person he wants to be with. He knows about Tom and he now knows about the baby.
I gotta say, I'm still in love with him. But I can't help wondering if I'm his second choice or if he only wants to have sex. He did mention how we could still do it since I'm not 7 months yet. In the beginning, he met his current girlfriend before me. But he dated me first and I broke his heart. Naturally, he turned to the other girl. But she drove him nuts and the first time he was ready to leave he found out she was pregnant. They had a baby boy in August. The second time, that I know of, was in November and she tried to kill herself. Now this time. What am I supposed to do? I can't leave Tom for him. I haven't been around him for years. So I especially can't leave Tom for a *trial run* with Jay. What kind of person would that make me?
Why is it he always calls at just the *right* time?
