9:18 a.m. - 2005-12-21
try
Happy 18th Birthday to my old friend, B! *kisses*
Thank you so much to the two of you who actually responded to my last entry. *hugs*
My grandma called me yesterday. She's doing much better, but she still can't leave home and it's driving her crazy. It makes the rest of us happy tho. Nurses come to help her out three times a week. I guess someone cleaned out her cupboards and she found some stuff she wants to give me for when I move. My mom told her I'm going to try to go to college (a 4-year) in the fall. I have an appointment with WIC today, but then I plan to stop by. I could really use some dishes etc. Plus she hasn't seen Bryan in so long and I know she's really depressed about that. I feel really bad about it too. I'm going to print out his picture with Santa and maybe some others for her. Then when we get home, Tom is going to babysit and I get to go out again!!! I'm going to my sister's basketball game and then Christmas shopping with my mom. I'm so excited. :-)
Anyway, when I talked to my grandma she mentioned how proud she was that I was going to college and that I had goals. She said that was good because I'll probably be the bread winner of the family. Which drives me insane. Not the fact that she said it, but the fact that she's probably right. I don't know anyone whose mother is the bread winner unless she's a single parent. My aunt is the bread winner because she owns her own company, but my uncle is whipped so I don't consider that. Then I realized that I get embarrassed whenever anyone asks Tom what he's up to, where he's working. Even if it's one of his family members or an old friend who's not doing much better than us. He works nights at an express mart around the corner. He left college (community college) shortly after I found out I was pregnant. Not wholly because of the baby, but also because his father stopped paying and he couldn't afford 2 hundred something dollars per class. But he doesn't even try. He keeps saying he'll look for a better job, but he never follows through. He even mentioned going back to school in the spring and it's too late now. He plans to earn extra money by working at one of their new stores in the city - evenings, part time. He also said he would help some guy restore his corvette. It appears that I'm the only one who has noticed that we will see each other even less than barely ever.
I love it when people tell me I'm so responsible, I'm good with money, I have goals. But it ticks me off that it's especially true when held against Tom. He is not good with money and he has no goals. He thinks there is no problem that he works, sleeps, and can leave whenever he wants. He hangs out with Matt all the time. He doesn't understand and gets a little angry when I want to go out without Bryan one night a week. He's obsessed with cars and has no luck with his own. He's on his fourth car this year. He dumped a lot of money into them because he didn't mind, he liked fixing them. Well, he wasn't thinking about his family. He acts like he's 20 years old and unattached and that's just not the case anymore. That's what bugs me the most. I know he loves both of us more than anything, but he wouldn't know left from right if he had to take care of us by himself. He can't afford to be his immature, stubborn self anymore and he just doesn't get it.
I don't want to be the only one trying in this relationship.
