10:05 a.m. - 2005-08-26
no respect
I'm dying to move out. Everyone is driving me nuts except for my youngest brother and my mom. My poor mom is going off the deep end tho because my father is being an asshole to everyone, especially her. I've dealt with their attitudes since I got pregnant and I'm sick of it. They don't give Tom any respect. They treat him like he's no good and he's stupid. Well, isn't that the same thing as not giving me respect? He is my fiance, I am going to marry him. He's the father of my child too. They don't hide how they feel either. Sometimes I wish they would just come out and say they don't like him. I still wouldn't give a shit tho. "They" are my father and my other brother. My brother is constantly disrespectful. He wouldn't dare mow the front lawn or play his music or play videogames on surround sound etc. if my dad were sleeping. But it's ok when Tom is sleeping. {I think you know, but my dad and Tom both work the night shift.} When I ask him to turn it off he'll say "Fuck Tom" to my face. Or if he's mowing the lawn he'll say that dad told him to. Which, it's sad to say, is usually true. My dad demands respect and quiet when he sleeps but purposely tells them to do things that end up interrupting Tom's sleep. My father thinks he sleeps too much. Which isn't true. He sleeps the same hours, give or take one hour. It's just that my dad works the 7-7 shift and Tom works the 11-7 shift. That means he goes to bed later than my dad and wakes up later than my dad.
My problem with my sister is her "I'll do it later" phase. She's always been lazy, but that has become her favorite phrase since about the beginning of the year. I can't get her to do shit. Less than half the time when she says she'll do it later, she actually will. Sometimes she won't do it because it wasn't mom who asked her to do it. She knows perfectly well that when mom's at work, I'm in charge. Besides, she barely listens to mom either. When mom actually leaves a chore list, she won't start on it until half an hour before mom is supposed to be home. And I have a real problem with the fact that she has soccer practice every morning, but then comes home and sleeps the afternoon away. She had taken a nap before Tom went to bed yesterday, which was around 2:00. I came home from my appointment and took a nap because I was exhausted. I woke up at 6:15, went to the bathroom, and when I got out she was just getting up. What the hell is with that?
I am so sick of hearing my dad complain that the house is dirty and his basement is a mess. If he wants something done, he could help out too! Or maybe yell at his other kids who are a little more capable of keeping up on that shit than I am. Tell them to get off their asses! I am sick of looking at this disgusting house, not getting any help, and getting only lip whenever I ask for it or whenever it comes to Tom. I told Tom last night that we need to move out soon. The end of the year is not going to work for me. I told him why. Unfortunately, he doesn't know too much about how he's being treated because I never say anything. I think he was a little disturbed. Wouldn't you be? He's getting his car inspected today and then he's saving every paycheck. He can wait to pay his father and mother back until we're settled. And if there are any other big purchases that need to be made we are using my money. I don't care if he throws a fit. Whatever gets us out of here faster. Halloween sounds good to me.
Ok, I'm done. I'm going to camp tonight so I won't be able to write again until at least Sunday evening. Have a wonderful weekend!
